poetry: Pinay Cheex

A Different One
by Pinay Cheex

A heart is just able to take a certain amount of pain. If that limit is reached who knows what will happen... this depends on that individual who is suffering. Why even let it come this far? That's a big question.

When you want something so bad and you get a little grip or glimpse of it, you end up not wanting to let go.
Why? Because it feels good?
This bittersweet taste of love is happiness and pain because you know it's not all yours. I guess you'd say sharing is caring, huh? Right... Stuck in bittersweet memories.

Is it the fear of losing that person completely or completely losing yourself?
Now that's something for yourself to decide... It might even be a twist of both.
What a pity it is giving your heart - your everything - to basically nothing?
Empty words, promises, the whole emptiness feeling.
Is that what or who is accompaning me? Love... 4 letters, such a powerful word yet with destructive side effects for some out there.
Falling in love... When you fight it the most it'll happen much faster that you end up falling in love.
Not just loving that individual but being in love with the individual makes people lose their sight of reality in alot of cases.
But what if you're aware of anything that happens around you or the two of you?

Hope... Hoping for a change is that too much to ask for? Probably so.
Pushing the limit day by day but it has reached the finish line. A finish line filled with emotions.
A firework of emotions, you don't even know where to begin or what to begin with.
Anger? Disappointment? Pain? What is it?
It's just like a cocktail... A mixture of everything. Especially when every step is linked to pain.
The way out seems like a neverending puzzle as if the most important piece is missing.
Your heart... that other individual still has it because you thought it'd be safe there.

You, yourself did so much went through so many ups and downs just to arrive at an ultimate down?
What is the truth? What is a lie?
I guess, I'm destined never to find out, right?
Sweet caring whispers, are they real?
The painful truth is better than a sweet lie. I'm living it.
Was everything a lie though, may I at least get some truth out of it?

My mind and my heart make it so hard.
Only that individual could light up some of it but who can guarantee for it.
A heartless woman something I don't want to become but is this the only choice life has given me?