Love is only for the movies

When I was a young girl, I always dreamt of true love and if soulmates truly existed. Soulmates? A phrase that has been catch phrased into something that can only be obtainable through the silver screen.The media has reduced the true meaning of love. Movies and music videos alike have defined love in ways that only seems achievable through fairytales.

Every love story has to be a modern day reenactment of Cinderella, Snow White, or Sleeping Beauty.Women cannot meet a man, befriend a man, get to know that man, understand and grow to love that man, and fall deeply in love with that man for who he is. No matter the shape, the size, or the color.

We are taught to search for Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome. If such a man truly existed he is painted to be perfect without flaw. But the men that we are given will not appear to us as perfect unless we see the beauty he holds inside.

I always expected myself to fall deeply and madly in love with a man, of course, but my ideal romance would have been something similar to The Lake House, A Lot Like Love, The Notebook, or The Time Travellers Wife.

But love for me, has found me in the most unimaginable ways. And who would have known that my Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome is not dark at all. And love for me has not been a movie, but has been better.

Each movie has captured love in its defined form, but what each film lacks, is portraying love through true human nature. Love does not just happen over night, but being able to love a man and fall in love with him takes more than one day.

But yet love movies have kept the portrayal of a soulmate as someone you casually bump into. Someone you see walking in slow motion through a park and your eyes meet, you are both caught dead in your tracks, and within seconds you fall in love. Love movies are all the same believe it or not. Always expect the unexpected, but yet we learn from movies to expect.

Expect? Perhaps expect too much…

Not every man you meet will be prince charming. And not every man you fall in love with will automatically know that roses or a simple phone call will brighten up your day. Leave it to the movies to create false hopes and expectations for the weak at mind, yet strong-hearted women.

We expect to be swept off of our feet. We expect candle lit dinners and romantic walks on the beach. But who ever said that this is what love is? The media? Movies? Fairytales? Have we dreamt up something so falsely portrayed? We are our own worse enemies when it comes to love because all we do is expect, expect, expect.

Not every man will have a job and not every man will have a car. Not every man will fall deeply in love with you after the second date. Not every man will stand in the middle of your lawn with a boom box. Not every man will climb up your window or balcony to express his love for you. Not every man is Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Michael Ealy, Chris Brown, Hayden Christensen, Paul Walker, or Johnny Depp.

But every man has love to give…

Finding your soulmate is not just for fairytales.

Melanie Shaw