Whenever I make the rare decision to throw some kind of event, I always remember why I don’t: the guest list. I’d hate to admit that I am a person who is eager to please - but I will admit that I don’t like pissing people off, or making them feel bad. The guest list wouldn’t be such an issue if I didn’t have such a wide circle of friends.
I think about all of the different groups of friends that I hang out with on a weekly to monthly basis. The friends who have recently had events I’ve attended. The friends I need to invite, the friends I want to invite, the friends I feel like I have to invite. Of course, there’s no guarantee that they (or anyone, for that matter) will actually attend, but it’s the invitation that counts.
If this was my birthday party or some soiree at a large venue, it wouldn’t really be that big of an issue. The issue is that this is going to be some sort of housewarming fiesta for my new Venice apartment. The event itself is going to be a somewhat low-key pregame on the rooftop deck, so I can allow for a larger than normal guestlist - but how big is too big? By a mental head count, I’m already at a casual 42 - and that doesn’t include the several romantic interests I need to decide between. Ideally, half of the people I invite will not be able to make it, or they’ll just meet us out at the bars later and see the apartment another time. This doesn’t even include the number of people my roommate would want to invite. Oi vey.
It’s like, I have to invite this girl because she invited me to hers, and I have to invite this girl because she’s one of my besties, and I have to invite this girl because she’s BFF’s with these girls so I can’t leave her out, and I have to invite this girl because she’s fucking this guy and that will be weird if I invite him and not her… Oh, but these two girls hate each other so how do I choose which one to invite? Do I invite them both and hope neither attempts to push the other off of my fabulous roof deck? Am I supposed to buy alcohol for all of these people? Wait, I definitely have more guy friends than this. Can I invite that one guy even though he’s hooked up with both of these girls? I like him, but I also like him, and him, and him - so can I invite all four or do I have to choose one? Do I invite my famous friends? Do I have separate parties? Do I just have a day party? Do I invite the other tenants? What if nobody shows up? What if everybody shows up? Am I popular? Should we make this a darty or a pregame? Should we get a keg? Will my landlord get pissed? How do I get all of these people in my building? Is it worth it? Fuck.
Alex Sautter (@calexifornia)
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