We're "Talking"

by Dyy Romero (@BangBangUDyy)

What is "talking" to a guy/girl ?

“Oh yea… me and Caitlyn, we’ve been talking for 4 months now”.

Can anyone exactly pin-point where the word “talking” came from? I mean the “talking” defined as “the current person who you can consider being your girlfriend/boyfriend BUT they do not have the title BUT you still hang out with them and do everything together”. I know that was very vague, but you get the idea. I, personally, believe this term is something that teenagers recently began using, but nobody knows exactly what the actual meaning of “talking” is, because everyone has different opinions.

I have seen various cases in which “talking” has been misunderstood. One party might think that “talking” means that they’re just casually dating, while the other thinks that the one they are "talking" to is being faithful and not seeing anyone else. When there's confusion like this, problems arise. Jen might find out that “talking” to a guy means that she is the only person he is seeing. So, she stays faithful in this committed, “talking” relationship in hopes of receiving the girlfriend title from Greg. Greg, on the other hand, might be “talking” to Jen while having sex with Alyssa, whom he is also “talking” to. Jen might later find out that Greg was not only “talking” to her, but he was also “talking” to Alyssa, Kate, and April. Jen is now devastated and hurt.

I’ve seen too many situations where “talking” goes wrong. My advice, just be honest with yourself and your partner. If you want to test the waters, let them KNOW that. Let them know you want to date them AND other people, and take it from there. If you’re the type to “talk” to ONE person, let them KNOW that as well.

Don’t ever assume that something unspoken is known. By you establishing your personal view of “talking”, or your boundaries in a “talking” relationship, you are creating less drama and less heartbreak in the end. While discussing the options and regulations on your specific “talking” ways, you both can come to an understanding so there won’t be any surprises along the way. Now, if you want to commit, then take that plunge and communicate to your partner that you want to take it to another level. Don’t assume they know or will know eventually. Always keep in mind that communication is key to any type of relationship.