Booty Calls: What are the Rules?

Everyone knows what a booty call is.  That 2 a.m. call from an old hook-up?  What else could it possibly be about?  So, despite the fact that we're all familiar with it, the rules still seem rather ambiguous.  You're not dating this person by any means, but there must be some form of intimacy there, right?  After all, he or she has seen your naked body in all it's glory.  But then again, there's usually alcohol involved in a booty call....at least for one of the parties involved.  Moreover, how do you deal with that awkward moment on campus Monday morning when you walk by them?  Don't fret-from experience, I can outline a few steadfast rules that will help avoid any awkwardness, embarrassment, and misunderstandings.


1.  First and foremost, recognize it for what it is.  It's a known rule that if someone only blows up your phone in the wee hours of the night, there's one thing and one thing only they're looking for: a hook-up.  If he or she doesn't bother to talk to you the rest of the time, then you can bet it's not your winning personality he or she is attracted to.  The best thing you can do for yourself is realize from the start that a booty call is just a booty call.  Very rarely will it turn into anything else and hoping that it will will only lead to hurt feelings on your part and annoyance on the other party's part.  So, if there are feelings involved, or you find yourself tricking yourself into thinking he or she cares for you in a deeper way than their desire for your super-cute backside, then it's best to not get involved at all.

2.  Also very important is the issue of alcohol.  Very often booty calls happen when one or both parties are drunk.  It loosens both your inhibitions, makes things less awkward, and is a great excuse if the hook-up ends up being less than stellar.  However, it's important to recognize the line between being drunk and being too drunk.  If one party (the girl in particular) isn't going to remember it, and will possibly feel very differently about it, the next morning, then it's probably best to step away.  Taking advantage of someone that is too inebriated is never excusable.

3.  When it comes to hooking-up, appearances must be up-kept.  This isn't always true in relationships.  Because of how much time you spend with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you're bound to be caught at times where maybe you're not sex-ready, but you do it anyways.  And, these breaches in appearance are acceptable, because you're dating the person.  Obviously they like you for more reasons than just sex, so unshaved legs, un-sexy panties,and  a makeup-less face can all be excused at times.  The same isn't necessarily true for a booty call.  With a booty call, you're both there for one reason: the sex.  Therefore, you're obliged to be ready.  You need to uphold your side of the bargain.  So, ladies: make sure you don't have on your granny panties, your legs are smooth and silky, and you covered up that pimple.  Guys, all we really ask, is that you're clean and freshly showered.  Oh yeah, and that your sheets be clean too.

4.  Keep it on the down-low.  The more people that know about this booty call, the more drama there will be.  Whether it's another girl making up lies because she's insanely jealous of the fact that you're hooking up with the guy she wants or friends gossiping and starting lies, nothing good will come of it.  Keep a casual hook-up as drama-free as possible or else it's viable to end.

5.  So, booty call is successfully completed, now, what's protocol for future contact?  Is it acceptable to send a "Thanks for the great time!" text?  Sure, but that's it.  Don't continue the conversation and don't expect he or she to either.  The only other time after this that you should be contacting them is if you're trying to make another late night hook-up happen.

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