RANT: Nightlife

As i'm coming off a high, I'm writing this. I recently introduced myself to this social network we all know and love called Twitter. There, I was followed by @wadidoLA, who told me I had dope tweets, and I should write for their site, so, I figured, why not? I'm bored, and I like freelance writing. Plus, I finally get to express myself in more than 140 characters, which brings me to my topic - nightlife . First things first , since when does bumping into me mean you're automatically getting into my pants? Sorry, you're going to have to try a little harder than that. 



Going to the club every week makes you a "club rat", and I can say that, because I used to be one myself, true story. Have you ever heard the song "No Wifing" in the club? You men should really listen to it. Same thing with us ladies! Sorry, but you're really not finding yourself a husband in there; it's too unethical!

Big up's to all my Barbie's - ladies I think Ms. Nikki Minaj is the ONLY one that can really pull that look off, so take those blonde lace-front wigs and cotton-candy pink lipstick off and try again. If you're old enough to be my father, why are you parking lot pimpin? Take your old butt home to your wife and go to sleep! Why does everyone get like, THE biggest beer balls ever? Get some liquor in your system and all of a sudden you don't know how to act! Would you dance like that in front of your family? Please cut it out.

If you don't know the words to that rap song - why are you still trying! You can pop bottles in the club...but child support is looking for you for non-payment?

I once saw a girl's tracks fall out in the club. I laughed! I don't wanna dance with you, why are you pulling my arm? We sell barbeque outside of the club after, where they do that at?

Well, that's a typical Wednesday night in good old Ft. Myers for you. Oh, and one last thing. You think those golds and dreads and tattoos look good getting in there? Wait 'till the lights come on at 2 a.m. This was too much fun, thank you @wadidoLA!

Jackie Parisi (@_jackieebadx3)